2007-06-08T11:25:00.000-04:00

When Homer Bailey came up from Louisville,
the waters of the Ohio River parted.
The chief export of Homer Bailey is strikeouts.
When Barry Bonds goes to sleep at night,
he checks the closet for Homer Bailey.
Homer Bailey doesn’t even walk his dog.
If you look up fastball in the dictionary there is
simply a picture of Homer Bailey.
Homer Bailey doesn’t hit batters with pitches—he just
points at them and they fall down.
Homer Bailey’s change up is a 110 MPH fastball .... underhand.
When God said "Let there be light", he was foolishly thinking it would help
him hit a Homer Bailey fastball.
There is no I in team. There are 27 K's in Homer Bailey however.
Homer Bailey once struck a batter out in only two pitches.
Where there’s smoke, there’s Homer Bailey.
Homer Bailey walked a batter once. The umpire has not
had the courage to tell him yet.
Homer Bailey threw his first fastball a long, long time
ago. We refer to this event as the Big Bang.
Homer Bailey’s ERA is measured in negative numbers.
There is no longer a list of top minor league prospects. It is simply now a
list of people waiting to be struck out by Homer Bailey.
Homer Bailey has only ever seen two balls cross the plate ... his.
ESPN no longer says a player with 3 strikes has struck out.
They say he was Bailey'd.
Homer Bailey does not take signs from the catcher. He is simply
taking requests for how many pitches he should strike the batter out in.
Homer Bailey threw a curveball to first base and the umpire called it a strike.
Pete Rose was banned from baseball for claiming to hit a Homer Bailey fastball.
Homer Bailey doesn't rest in between starts. He waits.
Baseball discontinued the Cy Young Award because
Homer Bailey ran out of shelf space.
Homer Bailey can strike you out with a basketball.
On a math test in high school Homer Bailey answered every problem
with "Strikeout". He got an A+ on the test because Homer Bailey
solves all of his problems with strikeouts.
Homer Bailey will fix the economic structure of baseball.
Tornados are a direct result of batters swinging
and missing Homer Bailey fastballs.
Homer Bailey threw a ball once. Once.
If you can see Homer Bailey he can see you. If you can't see
Homer Bailey you could be seconds away from a strikeout.
Homer Bailey has more pitches than a door-to-door insurance salesman.
Cy Young wears a Homer Bailey jersey.
Homer Bailey’s fastball is the primary cause of global warming.
Homer Bailey threw 27 Ks and hit for the cycle in the same game—and, by “the cycle” I mean a solo HR, a 2-run HR, a 3-run HR and a grand slam.
Only God can hit a Homer Bailey fastball, and that’s if Homer slows
it down and tells him it’s coming.
Giraffes were created when Homer Bailey beaned a horse in the head.
Homer Bailey will finish The Banks project.
When Homer Bailey does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up,
he’s pushing the Earth down.
Homer Bailey has two speeds. Fast and ludicrous.
Homer Bailey doesn't play "hide and seek". He plays
"hide and pray I don't strike you out."
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't hit
Homer Bailey's strikeout pitch.
Homer Bailey always wins the Great Reds Race.
There's only one word out of a batter's mouth after watching
a Homer Bailey fastball whiz by: D'oh!
Homer Bailey destroyed the periodic table.
The only element he recognizes K.
The MLB has defined the area over home plate between "the top of a batter’s knees and the mid point of his belt and shoulders" as the Bailey Zone.
Opposing batters only know one number when Homer Bailey's on the mound: 911.
Homer Bailey threw a fastball and scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
In some third world countries the punishment for stealing is
facing a Homer Bailey fastball.
The main component in the cream and clear was Homer Bailey's sweat.
Realizing what was happening, Homer Bailey no longer sweats. And Barry
Bonds' head will explode as a result of not being able to handle the
awesomeness of Homer.
Homer Bailey's wild pitches cure cancer... too bad he's never thrown one.
Mr. T had no fools to pity but himself after being struck out by Homer
Bailey.

When playing in an American League park, opposing teams are allowed to use a “Designated Swing-and-Misser” in place of the pitcher in their batting order.

Brought to you by some of the biggest Reds fans you'll ever meet,
The Brain, Al Webz, Big Bald and The Wise One.
Sponsored by TheLifeOfDad.com

If you'd like to submit your own "Homer Bailey Facts" for consideration, please e-mail us at fozzie007@yahoo.com

From Friends of Homer Bailey Facts ...

Homer Bailey could strike out Chuck Norris! --Ken
Homer Bailey once beaned Chuck Norris and killed him,
cause that's how he rolls... --Geoffery
Homer Bailey doesnt need to juice, he throws it.--Doug D.
Homer Bailey believes in the 2nd ammendment,
the right to bear arms.......HIS.--Doug D.
N.A.S.A. has classified Homer Baileys fastball as an unidentified flying object. -- Doug D.
Classified photos show Homer Bailey winding up on the grassy knoll
the day of the Kennedy assasination. --Doug D.
God built the Earth in the shape of a baseball. Homer Bailey
plays baseball. Coincidence?--Brittany K.
Want to know the real reason the Pittsburgh Pirates haven't had a winning season in 15 years? In 1992, it was unearthed that Homer Bailey once struck out Blackbeard the pirate, sending him and all pirates to Davy Jones's locker for all eternity.--Bizzo
On Friday June 8th, 2007, the chosen one made his first start. This date is also
prominent in baseball because the first intentional strikeout was recorded by Victor
Martinez, as he swung the bat three times before Homer even pitched.--Jonathan G.
Homer Bailey gives permission to major league baseball to use his images and descriptions of the games in which he pitches. --Anonymous
Homer Bailey eats Cole Hamels for breakfast.--Anonymous
It's Homer Bailey's world and Cole Hamels is living in it--Anonymous
There are two types of people: those who have struck out facing
Homer Bailey, and those who would strikeout facing
Homer Bailey.--Paul Markoff